Gaslighting And Its Examples

 Has somebody ever said anything to you that brought you to a halt and caused you to doubt your own sanity? Did it cause you to have doubts about your memories and your understanding of reality? If so, there is a good chance that you been a victim of ‘Gaslighting.’

The term gaslighting is often used by the media these days. The word gaslighting is derived from Patrick Hamilton’s 1939 stage drama, Gaslight; in which a husband mentally manipulates his wife.

Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse in which the victim is led to doubt his or her own memory of truth, or perspective. It is one of the most pernicious forms of maltreat. It takes direct aim at a person’s sense self-confidence, gradually eroding it until they begin to doubt if everything they perceive, think, feel is genuine or a creation of their mind.

Gaslighting also erodes an individual’s capacity and motivation to confront their abuser, since each time they try, the goalposts are shifted even further to turn their argument against them. Eventually, dreed, and uncertainty renders the victim so helpless that they are easily led into doing anything the offender demands. They relinquish all resistance and become figurative pawns of their manipulators.

Here are 10 examples of what gaslighting sounds like:

DISCLAIMER: Not everyone who uses these phrases is automatically a gaslighter. Gaslighting is intentional; and a gaslighter knows exactly what they are saying and doing.

1. It is all your fault that I do the things I do to you

When a gaslighter is confronted with their actions, they may make statements similar to this. It is a fairly normal reaction to them to put you on the spot and for you to second guess your behavior. They accuse you of wrong doing, without accepting responsibility of their own actions. You could even apologize for things that aren’t your fault in order to reach an agreement with them.

One sign that you might be getting gaslighted is if you always feel like you are messing up even though you are trying really hard to do things right. Your gaslighter wants you to feel like that because they want you to feel like they are doing you a favor just being with you.

This sort of emotional abuse may occur in any relationship, but is most prevalent in romantic relationships.

2. You are too sensitive

At times, being gaslighted may be perplexing, and you may begin to wonder whether you are the one who is overreacting. The abuser will maintain that you are fabricating a situation out of thin air. This will cause you to doubt your own view point and emotionally shut down. Their goal is to make you feel foolish for even attempting to defend yourself. They terminate the conversation and accuse you of being too emotional to deal with it.

3. I don’t remember saying that, I think you made that up

This is a go to phrase that a gaslighter will use to intentionally get you to question your experience, behavior and thoughts in order to take the focus off of them

4. I am sorry you feel that way  

When someone has harmed you and apologizes in this manner, it is not a genuine apology. Rather than that, it is a strategy to make you feel as if you are the problem. They express regret that you feel the way you do rather than accepting responsibility for what they have done or how they have made you feel.

5. No body except me will ever love you

Isolating the victim from friends and family is a characteristic of all forms of domestic violence, and gaslighting is one method of doing so. A person’s loved ones are those who may serve as a reality check, and so the gaslighter may attempt to remove them in order to distort reality.

Keep in mind that you may have heard these things before, but this does not always imply you have been gaslighted or you are a gaslighter. Gaslighting is deliberate, and a gaslighter is well aware of exactly what they are saying and doing. Gaslighting is not limited to romantic relationships. It may occur inside a family or even at your work place.