Why We Go Cold on Our Partners

 

The story of the path to coldness in love is well known: We start off full of affection for one another, and then, with time, feeling fade. We start prioritizing work, we check our phones while they are speaking, we don’t especially want to hear how their day went. There’s a popular surface explanation for this kind of emotional frost; ‘that people naturally get bored of one another. In the same way as they get bored with everything else – the gadget that once seemed so amazing, or the film they used to love.’

Going cold is, in this story, simply the unavoidable consequence of familiarity. But there’s another explanation, dark at first, but in the end, more hopeful. The loss of interest isn’t either natural or inevitable. The boredom is something at once more complicated and more active – it exists, because we fell hurt by, angry with or scared of our partner, and because we haven’t found a cathartic way to tell ourselves, or them, about it.

Tuning out isn’t inevitable, it is a symptom of disavowed emotional distress, it’s a way of coping. We’re internally numbed, not just a touch based. This can sound strange, after all we might have no active sense that our partner has been hurting, angry or hurt by us. The idea seems laughable or extreme. It makes our partners sound like monsters or ourselves like weaklings, neither of which is true.

The self that loves in a relationship is not the normal, adult self we know from other zones of our lives. We may mostly be hugely resourceful and resilient, but the person who loves is an infinitely more vulnerable being. We should imagine it like a smaller, younger, more defenseless version of ourselves that lives in our heads and is no tougher and not much wiser than we were babies, which is when so many of our needs for, and ides about love were formed. It is vulnerable self that continues to direct our hearts even if we are 6’2” tall with a pointy beard.

The loving self has a gossamer thin ego. It gets hurt, frightened, and upset with desperate ease. You can deeply distress it by interrupting it during the story it’s telling you about the sandwich it had for lunch, by preferring a book to cuddling, or being a bit tricky about what channel it should watch on TV. Of course, these are, by ordinary adult standards, tiny slights but we don’t love by adult standards. These small arrows are enough to wound the self that loves to its tender, emotional core.

Ideally, of course, the small self would at once point out what’s happened, it would carefully explain that it’d been frustrated and hurt, but mostly it just stays silent. That’s forgivable, it doesn’t properly understand what is wrong, it just knows it is in pain and is driven by an instinct to withdraw and protect itself, which translates into behavior that looks pretty cold. If the adult self had to give to voice to the loving self’s upset, it could sound and feel absurd, which partly why it doesn’t. There can be something especially humiliating in having to say; ‘I don’t feel you took enough interest in the details of my lunch break.’

The parts of us that make themselves vulnerable in love don’t obey the ordinary adult rules. The consequence is that the loving self-dries up; it doesn’t want to have sex, it gets sarcastic and irritable, but it doesn’t even know why it is like this, it isn’t putting on an act, it is confused. To learn to cope we need a prominent mutual awareness and forgiveness of the dynamic of sensitivity and distress and commitment to decode it when engagement and indifference descend. We have to create a forum in which so-called minor, love-sucking hurts can safely be aired without the other dismissing, as they always so easily can, the issues at stake as childish or imagined.

The touchiness of the loving self is ridiculous, if judged by the more robust standards of the rest of life, but this is not the rest of life. When we have gone cold, we may not truly have lost interest in our partners, we might just need an opportunity to imagine that we are quietly really rather hurt and furious with them, and we should have access to a safe forum in which our tender and critical feelings can be aired, purged and understood without risk of humiliation.    

The Challenges of Deafness and Communication Difficulties Among Special Needs Students

 

The term special needs include various learning, physical, medical, behavior, mental health, and developmental disabilities which differentiates them from general students. They face hindrances in learning, their studies, and mobility. They are referred to as “Divyang” in India, a Hindi word for the one with a divine body part. They have special needs in order to learn and be on par with their counterpart students. 

Hearing is vital for the development of communication skills among young children. Hence it becomes crucial for early detection of deafness among children lest delayed development of speech. Hence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends screening newborn babies for hearing impairment.

If detected early, treatment can be started to prevent delays in communication and language skills, says the CDC. Decibel is unit for the loudness of voice, so children with more than 90 decibels hearing loss are considered deaf. Hearing loss or deafness could be either acquired by any illness or congenital due to genetics. 

However, hearing impairment or deafness does not mean that child has any intellectual complications. simply these don’t affect a person’s ability to learn. But they do require special education which includes auditory training from specialists, sign language interpreters, lip reading, captioned videos, basically, education is imparted with the help of alternative communication methods. 

Nonetheless, such students find it arduous to learn verbal communication, vocabulary, grammar idioms and expressions. In order to counter such delays, visible communication methods or manual communication such as sign language, lip-reading, fingerspelling, and oral amplification training are implied. 

Though it is an obvious fact that children with hearing loss have better chances of getting quality education in developed countries than in developing or underdeveloped countries. They encounter challenges of unsupportive attitude, societal stigmas and myths h, inadequate specialized teachers for auditory training, learning resources and assistive devices, and paucity of funds by the governments.

According to data of the World Federation of the Deaf (2020), almost 80 percent of people with hearing disabilities reside in developing countries. This further necessitates actions for imparting education and direct funds to poor countries. Moreover, a 2019 UN report highlighted the fact that disabled students were less likely to access education, possess basic skills, complete schools, and had lesser opportunities.

The main reasons for this disparity were lack of specialized teachers, negative attitudes, discrimination, prejudices in society, less research on devising innovative methods for special educational requirements. Harassment, bullying and abuse by fellow students have led to an increase in school dropout’s parents being protective of their disabled children. 

In the contemporary context, the Covid 19 pandemic has been detrimental to the development of hearing-impaired students. A study published in the Malaysian Journal of Social Sciences and      

Humanities (MJSSH) shows that “there were four major challenges faced by the hearing impairment students; hearing devices, disruption to comprehend the lesson, not being familiar with the online devices, and being emotionally affected during online classes”. The study further revealed that “the hearing impairment students hampered their social interactions skills towards others during the pandemic”. Thus, it is imperative to improve and innovate methodologies by further research to assist special-needs students proving them “disability is not an inability” in 21st century.

 

References 

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2013). Hearing loss in children. Available online at: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/hearingloss/about.html

World Federation of the Deaf. (2020) on Wikipedia the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Federation_of_the_Deaf. UN. (2019). United Nations disability and development Report

https://www.un.org/development/desa/dspd/2019/04/un-disability-and-development-report-realizing-the-sdgs-byfor-and-with-persons-with-disabilities/. Malaysian Journal of Social Sciences and Humanities (MJSSH), Volume 5, Issue 8.

As seen on – Write Up

 

The show is set in a time seven years after an ice age hits the earth and human civilization, leaving it as a frozen wasteland. The series depict the predicament of remaining people, who inhabit a gigantic, perpetually-moving train that circles the globe.

Climate change is no longer an illusion, for we are experiencing its consequences in reality. 

We witness how excessive rise in temperature leads to a rise in ocean water level, depletion of ozone due to global warming, and many more. We fail to address the other side of this extremism in weather conditions. In the past decade, the temperature has dropped significantly in certain parts of the earth. Blizzards are predicted to become more intense in the face of climate change, despite shorter winters and rising global temperatures. Excessive snow makes it difficult for civilians to exist. 

The show is based on such a dystopian “Snowpocalypse” situation only. The nations release the substance CW-7 to control global warming, but accidentally it results in another Ice Age destroying the earth. 

It portrays how humanity perishes from the wrath of mother earth. In the train itself, humans are compartmentalized based on their wealth and social standing. The remaining common people are forced to live in dreadful conditions in the last wagons i.e. tail of the train with the bare minimum. It shows the divided nature of society and how under such life-threatening circumstances a new class system emerges. 

Despite scientific predicaments and propagated theories, the lifelines in the upcoming decades seem a blur. Until and unless some serious steps are taken, the fear continues to loom on us. 

Therefore, time demands a dire need for a holistic approach to adjudicating the prevailing environmental issues. All the world governments should come together and address such issues, for the benefit of humanity.

As Seen On: Responsible Consumption and Production

 

1. Plot Description: It is a movie and it is all about food adulteration. The food producing companies and global consumable companies mix toxic chemicals in food products. A worker in one of the food companies who is working is sales marketing department comes to know about the conspiracy and learns how he manipulates other consumers to use those toxic products without his knowledge before. He feels ashamed of the work and gets humiliated. Later he wants to work with all the regulations made by government, also he wages war against companies involved in food adulteration. He finds out the real culprit behind it. 
2. Advocates to food consumers: It advocates about food production and consumption in day-t-day life, i.e., the basic necessities children and adults consume. We earn, work hard to fulfill the needs of firm, food and fabric. Not only we consume eatables that we get, but it is quality food we need to healthy and happier life to lead.

But many of us has nil knowledge whether the consumable food is good or bad, does it contains any chemicals added which have severe levels, does it contains any expired nutrients added etc., hero wants to make understand what is actually happening to workers and employers. It all says about food consumables and the relation between producers and consumers (workers and customers). We are going to work for employers with honesty but not for the mistakes. 

3. Scenario: Generally, Junk foods are not only made by natural essentials. Food we use are manufactured using toxic chemicals. Chemicals are added to products to enhance the color and taste. Few companies add large quantity to make more profits. Customers consume these poisonous products. One of the customers consumes thrice a day to produce evidence before judiciary about the crime they are making and how it effects the end user. Reputed companies tamper the food and ultimately it is us who paranoid about eating anything.

An idea then comes to an employee as “Why can’t they convey the consumer problems to workers? Consumer buys the product directly from the manufacturer or wholesaler or retailer. But we forget, it is the worker/employee of particular manufacturing product company who makes it to us. We neither communicate them nor they do.

We are unknown to each other, but they are the one who makes consumables, the ingredients added to it. They are indirectly responsible for food consumption intake may it be good or bad. Employers who are making mistakes on purpose with the help of their workers by misusing. Similarly, we can’t force a consumer to stop buying goods. 

4. Hidden facts: The workers, who manufacture the products and the consumers, who use them are the very same people. A person remains as worker for 08 hours, the remaining 16 hours they will be consumers. He’s living in the society that he’s running by working. You can’t get workers oppose to their employers. It’s foolish that workers realize their folly. We are not going to tell the workers how to work? Everyone says to work hard, work smart, but no one says to work good with quality. One needs to be loyal to their work.

Loyalty is additional work which is not seen in physical with the labor work we do for the wages. But when there is breach of loyalty there comes a question, why do I have to be loyal to you? We need to set boundaries for our loyalty levels. We get paid for the work we do. No employer can decide it. It’s not a bribe to conceal their wrong doings. If we break the loyalty, how great the employer is, it’s easy to defeat them. 

5. Initiation is required: The first step is to bring the workers united, to amass the support of all the five department heads. Raw materials, finished goods, mixing, quality check, packing.  A product will be essential only for a few people in the market. But the company will force us to get into 100 people. And workers do so by using marketing techniques.

The first 40 people will but it saying it is essential as soon as they take it to them. After that they will make the next 30 people believe that it’s essential and sell them the products. The challenge is to sell it to the remaining 30 people. They won’t buy it no matter what you say. They deal with them emotionally by exploiting their sympathy towards as and win them over by being. But their job affects lives of common people. Harmful chemicals may or may not be present in products.

An employer may not understand the pain of consumer loss, even other consumer cannot understand pain, but consumer believes a worker will. Division of labor is extracted but not division of crime. Workers are closer to consumers than employers and be loyal to them. The workers hadn’t realized their loyalty was being misused. The loyalty shown to bad boss is betraying trusting customer.

6. Conclusive Analysis: 

Sustainable consumption involves consideration of the extent to which the products consumed meet the needs of consumers and contribution to quality of life. Sustaining of global population requires production and consumption habits. Not only considering ourselves as responsible citizen of nation but one must be responsible towards themselves, one must rely upon their standards.

Everyone who needs food to live has a relation to agriculture. The number of cultivators is coming down and the number of food consumers is rising. Hence, along with the price hikes in the market, adulteration is also on the rise. If this continues similarly, the wealth we would give our children in the future won’t be enough even for their hospital expenses.

The buyer is selling the same for ten times the buying price in the market. So, the person who grows food is losing, the food consumer we too are losing. Food consumers are increasing, along with the price hikes in the market, adulteration increases. Even after spending so much, we don’t know whether what we buy is good or adulterated. The SDGs seek sustainable management and efficient use of natural resources by 2030. Reduce the waste, particularly, halve food waste.

 

ECOWAS- Problems And Contested Issues

 

The Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) is made up of fifteen member countries which are located in the West African Regions. These fifteen countries share common economic, socio- political interests and are culturally and geographically connected. ECOWAS was established on 28 May 1975 with signing of the Treaty of Lagos. Its main mission was to promote economic integration in the regions it covered.

ECOWAS also aims to achieve a goal of collective self-sufficiency for its member states by building a full economic trading union in order to create a single large trade bloc. Today ECOWAS faced a number of criticisms due its failure in attaining its aims and objectives. Some of the major problems faced by ECOWAS include political instability, poor governance of the member states, lack of good transport facilities, weakness and lack of diversification of national economies. 

The ECOWAS accepts the task of guarding democracy, democracy in all the member states, but it neglects or gives no importance to internal democracy. External material and financial support channeled through the ECOWAS Commission is not subject to any democratic control within ECOWAS. The ECOWAS budget remains a secrecy and is difficult to reach. In order to save its integrity there is an urgent need for ECOWAS to focus on achieving good governance regarding budget transparency. Also, only an advisory role is given to the regional parliaments. Even this role has proven to be a difficult task for the regional parliament. Democracy without regional democracy is like politics without politicians.

Countries of West Africa were politically most unstable in Africa. One-party system favored over a multi-party system. The civilians of the newly independent African Country had the opportunity to rule for their government but the increased corruption, mismanagements, the increasing supremacy of powers of the leaders and the parties resulted into military intervention to stop the new independent countries from leading wayward to such directions. 

Within the ECOWAS three languages are used for communication among the member nations. The three languages are- French, English and Portuguese. There was difficulty in finding individuals who could communicate in all the three languages to the members of ECOWAS. This created a problem when it comes to decision making, discussion on certain political and economic matters.

ECOWAS aims for economic integration which seems unsuccessful as many of its member states are some of the poorest nations in the world. Economic integration of sub-region could not be achieved as the regions are deprived of basic commodities and resources essential for survival.

Human trafficking and human right abuses are common in Africa. Children and women are victims of such acts. ECOWAS aims at reducing gender disparity but women are still deprived of their rights. ECOWAS should work towards providing women’s rights, because women are always right and by excluding women, Africa is on the left track.

 

As Seen On – Reversing Roe

 

Pro Life VS. Pro Choice

Fundamental to and at the heart of Gender Equality, Female Rights and Feminism lie a consensus of Reproductive Rights as constitutional. The flaming debate on abortion is systematically trying to overturn and reverse this consensus and to its effect Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme Court ruling that legalized abortion. The documentary Reversing Roe sheds light on both sides of the abortion debate tackling the core issue in SDG 5 Gender Equality. 

The argument provided by anti-choice, or the prolife segment is that the unborn child is a person and abortion is killing human life. They claim rights for the unborn by highlighting the question of whether an unborn fetus is a person and should its moral right be considered. Their argument loses merit for the simple reason that it denigrates women who are alive now and their rights.

Reproductive rights mean that women not only have the right to have children but also the right not to have them. There is a constant political effort to degrade, accost and strip women of their right over their own bodies and the right to decide for themselves. 

"It's the basis of democracy that you control your body and it’s the basis of hierarchy and totalitarian regimes that you don't" – these words of one of the pro-choice leaders in the documentary suggest that duplicitous and hypocritic don’t even begin to cover the incessant attempts at bigotry and misogyny.

Claiming to know the best for everyone and especially for women the pro-life wing over the years has targeted the opposing side by going against the very nature of their name. From the killing of doctors performing abortions to mind washing people through unscientific and uncredited visual and data

It’s ironical that after all the progress on gender equality men decide for women in the most open, unreserved, and unashamed ways. This was true for the large part of the inception of this issue, as nearly all political offices in the United States of America and the Supreme Court were dominated and run by men. Women today yield effective voice worthy of changing the course of political action. Exceptional female leadership encompassing instances like Wendy Davis’ filibuster of the Texas Abortion Law.

This issue has divided America and the rest of the world on the lines of gender political and religious affiliations. It can only be the peak of patriarchy that the male gender and the state feel like they have authority to decide for females.

Increasingly politicized and made partisan, all action with regards to the debate came down to which of the two parties came to power and the subsequent appointment of Supreme Court judges who support the ruling parties stand on the issue. Thus, with every presidential election the verdict faces considerable opportunity to be reversed. Some people also argue that religious concerns are shaping the view of people in a country that gives religious freedom to its people.  

It should be etched into our understanding that the reversing of Roe will also mean reversing of gender equality.